The Pain

Genesis 30:1 “And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.”

Amy and I were married for 7 years before the Lord granted us our first child: Patience Joy. Although, at first we were sad to have no children, Amy and I soon were grateful for the experience of childlessness. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have understood the ache and void there is of having no children. Through the years, we have met many who are childless of no choice of their own. These precious couples just can’t bear children for one reason or another. Like Rachel in Genesis 30:1, the pain of childlessness to these couples may be quietly withheld from others, but without the comfort of Christ, a barren womb can truly feel like the grief, void, ache, and/or hopelessness of death (“else I die”). 

First, for those who have never struggled with the barren womb, please take the time to understand the real grief these couples experience.

Second, for those going through this sad experience, please look to the One Who allows it. 

Genesis 30:2 “And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?” 

Contrary to popular belief, conception doesn’t just happen when a man and a woman come together. God is the One Who ultimately decides who will bear children. We must all trust God’s perfect plan. Looking back, Amy and I are extremely grateful for our first 7 years of childlessness. God taught us many truths that prepared us for our future children. As with any trial that a believer goes through in the power and patience of Christ, we were made the better for our pain and suffering. 

When Amy and I knew that God was going to give us our first child, we picked James 1:2-4 which had been extremely precious in our childlessness. 

James 1:2 “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” 

We named our newborn girl, Patience Joy, in remembrance of allowing patience her perfect work in our lives and of the joy we received through God’s perfect molding of our lives. Dear reader, yes, a barren womb hurts. Yes, there is an ache to see others enjoying their children while you have none. But please trust in God’s perfect, precious plan for your life. In due time, Rachel was granted two boys, one of which was crucial in saving Israel during the great famine. God knows what He is doing!