How to Have Children

Genesis 30:2 “And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?”

A younger pastor and his wife that we are good friends with had been childless for a number of years. He humbly came to me asking if I would pray for them to have children. I was thrilled at the request, and was confident God would answer as He had done for Amy and I. A short time later, I received an email confirming that they were expecting their first child! 

Man has many methods these days to fix childlessness. There are certain natural methods, medical methods, and even the option of adoption. Often these methods work, and yet, for many others, man’s ways do not fix the barren womb. Why the inconsistency? Because people often forget as Rachel did in Gen. 30:1 that man is not the answer for producing children. Rachel yelled at her husband, Jacob, to fix the problem. Jacob responded angrily, but accurately, that “the fruit of the womb” is given or withheld by God Himself. 

So, so often, we forget that God is the Answer for everything. Contrary to popular opinion, children don’t just happen between a guy and a girl. God is still the Creator and Judge of all life. If you have children (whether naturally or through other means), God is the One Who granted your desire. If you do not have children, despite your best efforts, God is the One Who “withheld from thee the fruit of the womb”. 

So what can you do? Well, it seemed Amy and I were to have no children, yet after 7 years of marriage, God did the impossible and granted us not just one but two living children (and one in heaven). Ever since, God has never given us any more offspring. Apparently, God’s answer was two children. Most assume we planned it like having the classic American family: 1 boy/ 1girl. No, we did not plan it. God simply answered prayer. So what should you do? 

  • Pray for guidance. Is there a certain direction or method God wants you to do or not do?
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  • Pray and fast regularly for God to give you children until He gives you children or obviously says “no”. Don’t stop asking until you are absolutely sure that it is God (and not any other voices) telling you “no”. (See II Cor. 12:7-10)
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  • James 5:16 “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” 
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  • Luke 18:1 “And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;” 
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  • Prepare for children. 
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  • Psalm 81:10 “I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.” 
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  • If you truly believe and expect God to answer your prayer for children, prepare as if He is. God always fills an already open mouth! And I am not just saying go buy baby toys and clothes. No. I am emphasizing spiritual preparation. The average marriage has never studied what God expects from a marriage. The average parent has never biblically and spiritually prepared for children. As a result, our homes are in shambles! Prove to God that you will raise “the heritage of the Lord” in a Spirit-filled home. Read and study God’s Word on the home. Read and study biblical marriage and parenting material together from marriages and parents who excel in those areas. 
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  • Ask prayer warriors who you know receive regular answers to prayer. For example, many, many childless couples would ask the late evangelist Dr. John R. Rice to pray for them to have children and his/their prayers were answered. You want “the effectual, fervant prayer of a righteous man” which “availeth much.”