Needless Strife

Proverbs 19:11 “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”

In a marriage, as in any human relationship, slight offenses and small differences of opinion occur from time to time – or all the time:). And our wise and loving God has given us a way to lubricate those little rough spots in our relationships – “pass over” it

Proverbs 20:3a says, “It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.” Sometimes there are irrelevant points and issues that don’t need resolved in order to move forward. Leave it alone. 

Whether or not your first car as a couple was blue or brown won’t strain the relationship, but the strife over the matter will. Cease from the strife, and count it an honor. Saying “Yeah, you’re probably right,” won’t hurt anything but your pride. “Glory” in not having to deal with everything. 

Which way the toilet paper rolls off the roll won’t matter at all in eternity. The way I see it, if the roll is not rolling the way I usually put it, that means that it was someone other than me that actually changed the roll! Why be a fool and mess up a good thing by meddling with which way it was put on? 

Proverbs 17:9a reveals that “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.” I know we want our spouse’s love. Here is a very concrete way to earn it. Cover up those minor transgressions. Don’t even mention the offense. Not to him, and not to anyone else. Nobody even needs to know. 

Perhaps your husband is usually very considerate about the toilet seat lid, but he forgot once. Shut it yourself and move on without another word or thought. God Who sees in secret will reward you openly with a sweet marriage relationship. 

Proverbs 19:11 explains, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” Some things are trivial. Pass over them. Sure he transgressed, but you can pass over it, even mentally. 

For example, when your husband was coming down with a nasty flu, he was a bit shorttempered. So you tell yourself, “I know that’s not my husband talking, it’s the flu. He must be feeling really awful. I’m so glad that’s not the way he usually acts. I bet he’s had to overlook stuff like this from me from time to time too. I sure appreciate his usual cheerful outlook.” Excuse him to yourself, and move on. 

So, trust God for grace to let go of petty quarrels. Cease from strife, cover the transgression, pass over it, and reap the rewards of a sweet relationship.